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6 THINGS I'M NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO POSTPARTUM

Saturday, 21 January 2017
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With baby Charlie's due date nearing, I'm starting to get a little nervous. The romantic memories of Ella's textbook labour and amazing first few months are beginning to become clearer in my mind as I remember the difficult times too. Team this with the fact I've got a crazy 19 month old & a dog to look after as it is, to say I'm apprehensive would be an understatement!

There are a few pretty graphic, tiring and stressful moments that my mind decided to edit out when storing in the core memories (thanks for that...) that are now coming back to me in a sort of shocking reality check kind of way.

Childbirth, just like this post, is not for the faint hearted. So if you're easily offended or don't like to hear the nitty gritty then I suggest you don't read on...

1 -The Acid Pee

OH. MY. DEAR. GOD. Why does nobody tell you about this? Maybe it goes without saying because it's pretty obvious that urine on an open wound wouldn't exactly be pleasant but I wished someone had told me that every time you pee after giving birth you'll literally cry like a baby. Perhaps if I did know then I wouldn't have so confidently gone to the bathroom and allowed the force of my first wee to escape so liberally! I'd have taken a degree of caution, treaded carefully but no. I learned the hard way! For me, this was by far the worst part of childbirth, I'd take the delivery and contractions all day long - oh better be careful what I wish for. What makes it worse is you have 2 options. You can either drink lots of water and this dilutes your wee but makes you go to the loo ALL THE TIME and it's still sore. Or you can basically dehydrate yourself and suffer the strong acid pee a couple of times a day. Either way whether it's the drawn out option 1 or rare but agony option 2 - it's still bloody awful. Apparently it was worse for me because I didn't tear or need stitches but grazed instead (Hi, I'm Ash. Here are my most intimate details, pleased to meet you...) so it's much more nippy and takes longer to heal. On the positive side I really learned who my friends were because the only way I could suffer taking a wee was if I did it in the shower. So if you're planning on inviting us for tea & cake the Charlie is born, ask yourself if you're cool with me marking my territory like a dog in your bath...


2 -Goodbye Hot Tea

It was nice knowing ya... Just as I felt I was starting to get my sh*t together & managing to have my morning, afternoon, night time - anytime really, cuppa I'm going to have to sacrifice it all over again. When my need for caffeine will be at it's peak I probably won't get a spare second to have a nice warm hug from the inside. Microwaved tea to reheat it becomes an all too frequent occurrence. Make a new cup you say? But that would require 30 seconds that I just don't have and perhaps the use of 2 spare hands which when you've got a new baby suctioned to your boob and a toddler pulling on your leg you've pretty much just asked me to do the impossible. So with that being said, unintentional iced tea it is.


3 -Not the Nipples!

When you're starting to breastfeed apparently your nipples 'toughen up'. Now I'd have to disagree with that statement and say that they actually get more sensitive and sore! I'm getting toe curling flashbacks of me exiting the shower and drying myself off with a towel that quite honestly felt like a sheet of sandpaper across my boobs. Believe me, in this house we love a fluffy towel so god only knows what it would have been like if this was something other than the Egyptian cotton bliss that I dried with. 


4 - The Month Long Period

After the longest time off, Aunt Flo is back for a visit & this time she's making up for it. Just when you'd gotten used to not have the annoyance of having a period - it's back and it's not just for your usual 5 days of inconvenience... try a couple of weeks! This teamed with the fact you'll be wearing a sanitary towel that's probably larger than your newborn baby's nappy is the price you pay for having the vacay for the past 9 months. So if you ever needed an excuse other than the baby weight to not attempt to fit into your pre-pregnancy skinny jeans then this is it!

5 -Unwanted Advice

Now if I didn't want this first time round then will I hell the second time. It's like when you have a new baby people start to give you all of their do's and don't for parenting. Just stop, stop now. If I didn't ask for it then I don't want to hear it. I'm figuring this one out myself. It's not a stubbornness or that I think people are meaning any harm BUT by giving out advice that was never requested is inadvertently suggesting you think whatever I'm doing or not doing is wrong. Hold on a second 'til I just reach for that one size fits all parenting manual that doesn't exist (I just became the straight faced emoji there for a second). Seriously though, it's bad enough coming from family members or people you know but the strangers in the Supermarket? Don't get me started. If I ever have another woman reach in and take my child dummy/pacifier from their mouth and say 'take out that dirty dummy' again I will erupt - (again). 'So here's my advice for those who give unwanted advice', said the hypocritical blogger, unless someone asks for it please be mindful of the new mummy who is just trying to work this parenting business out for themselves, they're doing their best and that's good enough!

6 -Human Contraceptive

Who needs the pill when you've been awarded your very own 8lbs 5oz human contraceptive. Seriously though, doing the deed will be the last thing on your mind after you've given birth for obvious reasons (please see point 1 & 4) and let's face it - that's what got you into this state in the first place! But when the chance does come about when you want to have a moment with your better half -think again. Whether it's due to baby wanting to co-sleep with mummy & daddy, feeding for over an hour mummy or just generally having whinge you'll very rarely find the moment and when you do chances are you'll both be so knackered that a cuddle and a kip will seem more appealing! 


It's just as well your body & mind seems to be in a euphoric baby bubble for the first 4 weeks - at least that's what I felt like with Ella. The overwhelming love and emotions you feel for your new arrival seem to overshadow the negatives - minus the acid pee, I still firmly stand by that one. Maybe this time things may be a little different, but my motto is prepare for the worst and hope for the best that way you can't be disappointed. Maybe I will be so busy with my 2 little cherubs that I won't have time to notice the things I did before. I guess we will just need to wait & see, not long now.

What did you find the toughest part of the '4th Trimester' ?

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14 comments on "6 THINGS I'M NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO POSTPARTUM"
  1. As I'm 36 weeks pregnant, all of this stuff is really good to know what to expect, even if it is all a little daunting! I've heard lots about the infamous 'Acid-wee'... I've heard if you pour a jug of warm water over your bits at the same time as wee-ing that can help! I'm going to try that one I think, or the shower.... by that point I'll be past caring about dignity, I'm sure! ;)

    Lyndsay | Fizzy Peaches

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    1. OH I'm so sorry! Believe me the pros outweigh the cons (except the acid pee, sorry but that's the truth lol!) xx

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  2. Aw the acid pee still haunts me. I'll never take painless peeing for granted ever again! Don't worry though pal you are more than welcome to pee in my shower. That's how you know it's real friendship hahaha!

    www.maisymeow.com

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  3. Ha ha yes all of this! Especially hot tea!!

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  4. Oh god, I am NOT looking forward to any of this! The peeing sounds awful! Ouch! And cold hot drinks are the worst, but hey ho! I suppose I should just get used to the fact that that's how life will be once little man arrives haha!!

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    1. Sorry hun, but it's best to be prepared than have it come as a shock like it did to me.. I know you'll miss the hot cuppa but the baby hugs certainly make up for it xx

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  5. I think I had slowly become used to drinking cold tea! I managed to grab my cut whilst it was still hot today as Ian took over the afternoon feeds but it felt so strange!

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  6. Oh yes, I hated the month long (5+ weeks in actual fact) period I had after giving birth. Ugh. And those first post-partum pees.... eeeek.

    Jenna at Tinyfootsteps xx

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    Replies
    1. Uff it's just waaaaay too inconvenient isn't it? xx

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